Love and Respect

“However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Ephesians 5:33 (NIV)

A few years ago Tonya and I participated in the Love and Respect Conference led by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. Dr. Emerson identified what he called the Crazy Cycle. During conflict in marriage, we tend to act in unloving and disrespectful ways. The wife has a love tank and the husband has a respect tank. When a wife doesn’t feel loved by her husband, she will by nature respond by being disrespectful towards him. When a husband doesn’t feel respected by his wife, he will by nature respond by being unloving towards her.

How do you get off of the Crazy Cycle? Somebody has to go first. Because of our fallen nature, we tend to be selfish and self-centered and actually prefer that our spouse go first. The one who sees himself or herself as the most mature moves first. Now that’s convicting!

Dr. Eggerichs shared with us that respect empowers a husband to energize his wife and that love empowers a wife to energize her husband. The wife is crying out for love and the husband is crying out for respect. Doing marriage God’s way involves making the move to get off of the Crazy Cycle. Go first! If you are a husband, then honor Christ by choosing to be loving towards your wife. If you are a wife, then honor Christ by choosing to be respectful towards your husband.

Showing love and respect flows out of our abiding relationship with Christ. We have the capacity to love and respect because Jesus is our Source. Jesus enables us to do what He did. Love unconditionally and respect intentionally.

Pursuing God,

Stephen Trammell
Executive Pastor
Follow me on twitter at: http://twitter.com/stephentrammell